Well, it seems that I am not only leaving my 40’s soon-gasp!, but am also still looking for the illusive “Mr. Right”. I have a terrible feeling that when I was in my 20’s, Mr. Right was sent to me, however, since I was shallow, I didn’t recognize him- he wasn’t “perfect in every way”. I was sent a kind man, one who would get me the moon if I had asked for it, but oh I don’t know, he smoked, he didn’t have a great body, was too shy…. I know, I know, how shallow. Did I not mention I was young and shallow? It makes for a bad combination. I was attractive, great strong body, the best shape of my life, active, a risk-taker, lol, not even truly ready to settle down.
We always say “if I had known then what I know now…..”, but would it? Just how different would things be? It doesn’t matter to me in the grand scheme of things. I made my choices, had to live with them, and the long-term consequences that came along with them.
Now that I am older and, unfortunately, in the playing field with all these beautiful younger women with gorgeous bodies, I see that I am truly in trouble now. My body isn’t as cute as it used to be, and what I find hot….well, let’s just say that my daughter would be horrified if I turned into a cougar. Things are tough now. I am wiser, and I can see the mistakes of my past. I discounted many of the qualities which are truly important or endearing. I have joined thousands of other (younger) women on dating sites in order to run into a kind, decent, and fairly attractive man. I haven’t given up that God has actually created THE man for me, but I have to ease up and although I do not have to lower my standards, I need to be able to see, with God’s help, the “beauty” of the right man for me.
I can’t let him get away from me again.