I slipped up yet again!

How embarrassing!!  As a school counselor, I teach social skills.  One of the skills I teach falls under the character trait of Respect.  I talk and teach about this for over a month! I also teach about kids/people who are habitually cruel to others-bullies/abusers. 

Here is my quandary.  I teach Respect; I teach the Golden Rule-over and over mind you.  I talk about being nice to others, gossiping, rumors, exclusion, etc. yet I constantly find myself gossiping about my coworkers, I am jealous or envious-I don’t know- about my new part-time peer, and I absolutely hate the feelings I have!  What’s worse is that I have found myself having very little patience for little kids misbehaving, having temper tantrums, and crying because they can’t have their way!  In my role, I am supposed to be tolerant and accepting.  I don’t even have to mention my Christian side of all of this.  Now the tears begin to sting my eyes…..

I can’t believe how I have the nerve to be what I am, yet I can’t walk the talk.  I begin each day in prayer for strength and courage to do the right thing, and a bible study.  I pray every night for forgiveness because I have screwed up, pardon me, slipped up yet again.  I just can’t seem to get it right. 

You know it goes on…..   I am single, and on a dating site hoping that I may, one day, run into that “perfect” guy-which, I understand, in time, God will send him my way.  Even in that area I see myself excluding very nice men, but they just aren’t good-looking.  So, now I’m not only a hypocrite, but I’m shallow as well. 

At the rate I’m  going, I won’t be ready for Jesus’ second coming.  I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me, for wisdom to discern between right and wrong.  There is a disconnect somewhere—-lol, funny just saying that.  I am the disconnect

Father, I humbly thank you for loving me in spite of myself!  I know I don’t deserve it, but You see something in me.   Help me to not be such a disappointment to You.  Use me to help others, and with a loving heart. 

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About babybear65

I am a Hispanic single woman, born and raised in the military lifestyle. Went on to become a veteran and an Army spouse. Throughout my life I have struggled with relationships, to include the most important, the one with my Father, God. I am currently working on my license as a Professional Counselor, and studying to take the Addictions Counselor exam for my LCDC. I want to help, encourage, and maybe through my many mistakes, help others, men and women.
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