Well. Have you ever prayed for someone or something and felt like you never received an answer? Oh my goodness, I have! I prayed for my ex-husband for years and years. I prayed for my ex boyfriend for the years we were together. Had I known then what I know now…..
God had already answered my prayers. He said “No” to me. Since my human brain cannot begin to understand The Creator and His reasoning, I should have accepted that answer. Now I have. You see, I again prayed for a man in my life, a good man, a Christian man, a loving man, an honest man, a smart man, a good-looking man, for quite some time. Finally, I came to the realization that my answer was, again, “no”. Having elected to not continue with my subscription to a dating site, I closed my account. About the same time, I quickly emailed a comment to a man who had earlier winked at me on the same dating site I was quitting. Strangely enough, the man replied and continued to have a conversation with me for hours afterwards until it turned into me just giving him my phone number to continue the conversations. We agreed to me thereafter. We’ve been dating ever since.
Although this man had recently gone through a tragic loss, he adamantly stated that he was ready to continue and enter into a new relationship. I was wary, but agreed. I had already begun to fall in love with him. What is most interesting is that we had not had intimate relations. This was unlike my other relationship which was more intimate but nothing else. We, my current boyfriend and I, talked and talked. We spent time together. I respected this man. He respected me. He was funny, caring, authentic, with the most beautiful bright blue eyes and a genuineness about him that he became like a magnet to me. I felt such a strong pull towards him that at first it was frightening. I couldn’t concentrate, think, sleep, eat, do anything without thoughts of him completely invading me mind and my very soul. I had no idea that apparently he was going through the same thing-about me. We were falling in love with each other, but hadn’t admitted to it.
I told this man about my concerns, I told him about my deal-breakers. I told him that I would not be with a non Christian, with someone who did not put God first in his life. I needed him to understand this and to either agree and join my on that journey, or back out now. He told me he wanted this.
We’re still together, and although it’s only been recently, a month only, when we go out, people have thought we have been together for a year or more. Why is that? Why do others get the impression we’ve been together for a long time? No matter. I know I feel a complete (almost) peace about him, our relationship, and the future of us as a couple.
Do I worry? Am I concerned about skeletons in the closet? Holidays? Do I think about those days to come—the anniversary of his former wife’s departure? How will he react? What will this do to us? Will he push me away then? His kids? His daughter who refuses to accept me or the idea of him finding happiness and being able to move on with life? These are all unknowns to me. They are things that will surface and need to be addressed. I will be strong enough to put them in God’s hands and let His will be done. May I have the strength and courage needed to get through this.
I have fallen in love with this man. He states he is also in love with me. It is a brand new relationship, still so very fragile. Pray for me, for us. We’re not alone! We never were!