It’s been exactly a year almost to the date in which my ex- boyfriend deceitfully ended our year and a half-long relationship. After taking time to heal, I have given myself time to reflect, taken time to get to know myself better, worked on things I wanted to do and prepared for things I still wanted to do. I have also solidified my stance, my values, my expectations, my goals, and my standards.
For my birthday, my brother gave me a gift used to help push me forward. He wants me to start dating again and not be alone any more. Although unusual, he bought me a subscription to a dating site. I thought about it, and thought about it, and prayed about it, and basically it’s about faith and a lot of trust in my God and His plan for me. I’m quite hesitant, but I went ahead and created an account/profile and now I just have to sit and wait for God to guide me. I am very nervous. I want to be picky, have standards and tell men that I don’t want fat men, nor men who look like they’re old enough to be my dad…. but I think I’ll just be silent and wait. I do want to be attracted to the man, and think I should be (shouldn’t I?), but I want to try to keep an open mind, as well. I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to have to settle either.
I don’t think that one should ever give up, regardless of their age. If your relationship doesn’t work, take time to heal, refresh, do the things you’ve never had the chance to do before, and take the time to get to know yourself and what it is you truly like and don’t like. You will find that it will make you a better person, stronger, more independent, and a much better partner and mate for your next potential relationship.
Will I finally find the man God has in store for me? I’ve waited half my life for him. I’ve gone through so many experiences and I will try to continue to be as positive as I can be, knowing that I am not in control of anything, and that one day, regardless of what happens down here, I will have something and someone so amazing. I will no longer be alone, I will no longer be concerned for anything.
Thank You Lord for all your Promises!